God is good.

Long time, no post. Sorry about that. The past few weeks have been jammed with things to do. And it's not going to get any less busy. I still want to blog, but maybe once or twice a week instead.

I recently went back and scan-read through my blog. I know, I was just saying I didn't have enough time for blogging but I downloaded every. single. picture that was on my blog, since if anything did happen to my blog, I would still have all those photos.

Anyway, I realize how much I've changed in two years. It's astonishing. I'm  really not the same person at all. Three years ago all I really talked about was giveaways and photo contests. It's not just on my blog, either. I feel like I see everything differently than I did a year ago -- maybe it's because I'm getting older, maybe because Christ is changing me. Two years ago I didn't know what love really meant. I thought I knew what it meant. But I just didn't understand it. I knew God loved me. But now it's just . . . all becoming new.

Believe me, I'm still far from perfect. Ha, very far. God still has lots of work to do inside of me, but it helps to see how much He's done already. And I have to constantly remind myself that it is not me who is changing my life. It's God. And even when I don't feel like praising Him, or feel like He's there, I just have to sit back and praise Him no matter what I feel. I have to trust, to be thankful for what He's given me.

This was a very off topic post, but it's what I've learned over the past few days, so I decided to write it. Hopefully I can post sometime later this week.

- Kendra

postscript: this was originally titled "life is good". I just changed it. ;)

another 'reliving' post

My sandaled feet are dusty, my arms weary from carrying the watermelon. I scan the crowd, making sure Lilly and my sister are still in sight. Women chatter in Arabic as I push through the crowd. The air smells of sweat and trash. The sun beats down on my skin, making it even tanner. For a moment I wish I had dark skin like the people around me, maybe then I could bear the heat easier. 


I smell cinnamon, nutmeg, and coffee in the air. I stop and inhale it deeply, closing my eyes. A young man rams into me from behind. "Watch it!" He shouts, then lets out another rush of words I can't understand. I almost drop the watermelon. He stares at me for a moment, at my white skin, at my light hair. I turn away from him. 


Now I have lost sight of Lilly and my sister. In these crowds it's easy for one to get lost. I decide to stay put, so I move into a nearby tent to get out of the sun. The man in the tent has his tables full of cloth, different colors and prints. I finger my paper thin skirt, holding the watermelon cradled in my arm. 


"Kendra!" I whirl around. Lilly is standing there, her hands on her hips. She grabs my hand and pulls me forward. "What do you think you're doing?" She blurts out in fluent Arabic. 


"We thought you were lost," Anna says in English. My head spins from the different noises and sounds. 


Lilly sighs and takes the watermelon from me, then hands me a bag of bananas. "Come, it's time to go home." 


"Can we take a rickshaw?" I plead. My legs and arms ache. I don't even want to think of the long walk back home. 


Lilly starts to go on about how that will cost three pounds out of her pay, but she flags down a rickshaw anyway. I lift up my skirt and squeeze in the backseat between Anna and Lilly. As the rickshaw starts the wind blows through my sweaty hair, lifting it off my neck. I lean back in the seat and close my eyes, still catching a whiff of cinnamon as we drive by. 

----

I'm thinking of making these posts into a little series, maybe posting one each week or so . . . I really don't want to forget these memories. What do you all think?

there is something wrong with my siblings...

They are crazy. But we still love each other, don't worry. I also wonder where they got their craziness from...

news

We are moving. Again. For the 13th time in my life. This time, we don't know where we're going to be living, just that we have to be out of the farm before the end of August. To be honest, I'm not really worried, I know God will work it out. His plans are much better than me worrying about it. And hey, I'm also excited! Moving (especially when you have no idea where) is always an adventure.

Otherwise, life has been busy, but good. God is teaching me so much. I recently finished the book Crazy Love (dude. every Christian should read that book) and it just really opened my eyes to the purpose of why I'm here. I'm here to love, and I know it sounds cliché, but it's true. I'm here to love God, to love the people He's put in my life by serving and pouring out my life doing so.

Well, there's laundry to do and rooms to clean. Thanks for reading!

- kendra

ps: running out of post ideas...what do you guys wanna see here on the blog?

something that needs to be said

(click here if you want to see more pictures of this shoot)

My eyes are so quickly blinded to things that are so important. Days fly by, I am busy working, trying to get things done, get the most out of my Bible, and spend time with my family. They are all good things, in fact, very good things.

But my eyes are blinded. I sit here, being thankful, being happy as I live this imperfect, but lovely life. And there is so much more suffering I am tuning out.

Christians being tortured for their faith. Children starving on the streets. People in places that have never heard about Jesus.

It hurts me. I want to do something about it. Yet I am so weak, so helpless. What can I do about thousands, maybe millions, of hurting orphans children Africa? I am weak. But I have a strong God.

And with Him anything is possible. I may not be able to hop on a plane right now, but I can pray to the One who knows all things. I can love. I can love my family now, I can pour out my heart and serve those around me.

What has God given you a passion for?

the three year old

Nehemiah turned three earlier this month. I still can't quite believe it. I mean, seriously, he just turned two, right? Time goes by wayyy too fast.

We had a blast eating brownies, and I think he had the most fun. Opening presents was also a huge hit. He was so excited and proud of himself.

I love you Nehemiah, and happy late birthday!