me, myself, and I

I think as soon as I think I'm doing pretty good in life something comes up and I realize again how messed up I am. Lately I've been noticing how selfish I am. How many times a day I say "I". Or how many times a day I think about myself. I talk about myself, I think about myself, nearly everything I do revolves around myself and making myself feel good. Even the things I do that are considered good deeds are usually done with the wrong intentions.

There's so many people in this world. And if there's so many, why can't I just care about others? I mean sure, there are time that I genuinely care for other people but more than half the time I don't.

We people only have short lives to live. Our days pass by quickly and what do we spend them on? What do we spend our time doing? To be honest, it doesn't really matter too much what we're doing. It depends on if your heart is all in it and what your goals are. If you spend your days waiting for one glorious moment but the days you spend before that glorious moment are wastefully spent just waiting, then what do you accomplish? Live where you are and as Eric Liddel said, wherever you are, just be all there. And don't be there just to be there for yourself. No joy comes from that.

It's funny how it works. True happiness only comes when you stop searching for your own happiness and start really caring about others.























































We went to Tennessee last month and visited Sergeant York's birthplace. These are some shots from one of those days. We were all cold and half sick, but looking back, it was well worth it. 

my heart will sing no other name

LISTENING TO: forever reign // READING: obsessed // WATCHING: american experience vol. #3


I think as I get closer to God I realize more and more how empty I am on my own, how messed up I am and how much I really need God. I don't think there's really anything in this world that can truly satisfy but something bigger us, having faith in a just and loving God. Even if we spend our whole life searching for meaning, we can't really find it unless we go to a bigger source than our knowledge. We humans really are quite small. It's funny how we come up with these new inventions and things and think we're so great when really life is fragile and short. After all, what will matter in the end?

Enough about endings. I feel like lots of new things are beginning for me. It's almost as if all of a sudden I should be grown up.  I got to drive today, been busy working, juggling school, and maayybe getting to do something really exciting (saving that until I know for sure). I need to be in charge more and do some scary things, but through it all, I like this growing up thing. It's sad to stop being a kid, but hey, there's nothing I can do about it so I might as well make the best of this.

I feel like my posts are so rambly and all over the place, but was always meant to be a journal, not just me writing to please other people. If others enjoy reading my thoughts then I'll gladly embrace that, but I think I learned a long time ago that you can't please everyone, and when you do that, nobody is happy in the end.

So I'll sum this up and say that my Jesus never changes, even when I constantly run to this and that and then come sobbing back to him. It's crazy how his love never fails, how he could have everything he could possibly need but give it up for me, so I might have life. All I can really do is sing or stand in awe of him. Because now I have everything I could ever need or want.

sweet sixteen.

Guess what Kendra? YOUR SIXTEEN and you have your driving permit. Oh Yeah!
This is Anna posting on Kendra's blog for her birthday. I guess it something we've done in the past few years. :)

YOUR BIRTHDAY

You wake up and its summer outside. Yes, its summer. No more mushy sick and snowy birthdays.

You crank up the volume and sing at the top of your lungs with the radio.

You eat a amazing plate of blueberry pancakes. mmmmm...

You decide it time for a dance party and Everybody joins in.

You get a package in the mail with your novel already printed and edited.

You finished shooting your first wedding and your so amazed at how good the shoots are. { not that you wouldn't get good shoots. :)}

You get to go to a bookstore with all your awesome friends. + Hannah Ours.

You go swimming in the creek with the whole co-op.

You come home and relax just in time to get your 3 new cannon lens.

You get a awesome carrot cake with cream cheese icing.

So that's your b-day. Your so awesome, amazing, and super duper awesome! The best big sister ever.
Remember the song "I am sixteen going on seventeen". Ha-ha, sixteen seemed so old.

Well that's not all I got but all I can write for tonight. I love you, Anna

ALL PHOTOS VIA

Friday at 5:26pm

Even if it seems silly now, maybe one day, years from now, I'll really appreciate things like this fun video we made today. It's really just me, Max and Heidi being us. We went through today and watched some older videos we'd made a few years ago, so we figured we should add to the collection.

This is really for me to look back on one day (and realize how totally crazy and silly we were) but if you want to join in the craziness too, go ahead.